Surviving Complicated Grief
The hospital smells of disinfectant, trying to mask the presence of illness and grief. I walk into my husband’s room and give him a hug. I hold on tight, and even though he’s too weak to reciprocate, I relish the familiar touch and feel of his skin. How, I wonder, will I find the strength […]
Unexpected Acts of Kindness
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” This quote is getting thousands of “Likes” on Facebook, but are acts of kindness what we practice in our everyday lives? In March of 2002, my husband Rex and I moved to a small fixer upper in Palos Verdes. Our next door neighbor is a […]
I Used to Be Pretty
I used to be pretty, I mean cheerleader, actress, head-turning pretty. Fortunately, I was also smart. I learned early that it would take more than good looks to make my way in the world. And as much as I’m struggling with aging, it’s harder for women whose identities revolved around their husbands, their children and […]
Vacationing as a Widow
Vacationing as a widow changes your perspective. Do relationships look the same on land and at sea? I’m on a cruise with my sister and brother-in-law, and as much as I love them, it’s my first vacation without my husband. My sweet Rex died a year and a half ago and I am still trying […]
Is It OCD Or Coping With Life?
I move the books on my wall unit so they’re grouped by height. Am I being OCD, or is this just how I cope? Standing back to admire my work, I think, “Hmmm…I need a vase or a sculpture next to the books on the second shelf.” I try a red vase…too bright. Then I […]
Does the Soul Survive?
I’ve always struggled with the concept of life after death. Does our soul lives on in the minds and hearts of those we’ve touched? Can it exist separately on another dimension? If the soul survives, is it possible to actually communicate with a lost loved one? Can they come to us in times of need […]
When Great Souls Die: Mother and Rex
Would my life have been different if my mother had lived beyond my 14th year? She was my universe, and I revolved around her like a planet orbiting the sun. It was safe and predictable, and I knew where I belonged. My mother died suddenly, after a five year illness that was kept secret […]