I Used to Be Pretty

by | Jan 16, 2018 | Bereavement, Age related Issues, Aging, Grief, Grief Support, Losing a Loved One, Losing a Spouse, Losing a Spouse, Surviving loss | 181 comments

I used to be pretty, I mean cheerleader, actress, head-turning pretty. Fortunately, I was also smart. I learned early that it would take more than I used to Be Prettygood looks to make my way in the world. And as much as I’m struggling with aging, it’s harder for women whose identities revolved around their husbands, their children and their fleeting good looks.

I always felt an urgency to craft a meaningful life.  My mother died at 44, so I knew first hand that life could be short.  I calculated the most likely path to success and pursued a Ph.D.  According to plan, I secured a tenure-track position at a state university and thought I had it all figured out. Aging wasn’t going to mess with me.

What I hadn’t figured out was how older women are treated in our society. Granted, I live in Los Angeles, the land of the young and beautiful.  But it seems to be pervasive; as women age they are often dismissed as irrelevant. “What could you say that would interest me?”  Or if you walk a little slower, the unspoken response is often, “Hurry up, get out of my way, I have things to do.” The corollary being that you, as an older woman, do not.

I retired from the university in 2011, and my husband retired in 2010. He had a history of smoking and youthful bouts of alcoholism, which aged him prematurely. He loved to go to Starbucks for a latte with whipped cream and a gooey French pastry. Since Rite Aid was only 2 stores away, stopping there before Starbucks became part of his daily routine.

My Husband’s Story

Every day he’d pick up band aids, or shaving cream, or toothpaste, or whatever single item gave him an excuse to go to Rite Aid. He grew up working in the hayfields, so he never felt comfortable with the PhD’s at the university. But going to Rite Aid became his way of connecting with his “peeps.” The clerks and check-out people all loved him because he took the time to talk to them, and often had them laughing in the aisles.

As my husband’s health began to decline, so did his trips to Rite Aid. When I started picking up his medications, I was greeted with questions, advice, and many well wishes. I gave them constant updates, but when I told them he was on Hospice their pitying looks cut right through my heart. Hospice delivered his medications  at home, and I was frankly relieved that I no longer had to face his friends at Rite Aid.

On September 17, 2016, Rex died peacefully at home. Even though I was still in my 60’s, I suddenly felt terribly old. My daughter and daughter-in-law sprang into action and took over the arrangements. In Jewish law the burial should take place within 48 hours of a death, so there were a lot of preparations for the gathering at my house 2 days later. I appreciated the help of my 2 beautiful girls, but I felt useless and extraneous as the activity swirled around me.

My Story

It was several months before I went back to Rite Aid for some prescriptions of my own. I was in sloppy clothes, with no make-up, and felt about ten years older. It broke my heart to tell his “peeps” that he had passed away. They all made sympathetic remarks and couldn’t have been nicer. But something had changed. From that point on, they would always see me as “Rex’s widow.” The sad looks in their eyes made me want to run out screaming every time I bumped into someone he knew.

About 10 months ago I went into the pharmacy looking worse than I had in my entire life. Yeah, grief has a way of doing that to you. I asked for my medications hoping there would be someone at the counter that I didn’t know. Of course Linda was there, and she greeted me with those pitying eyes that seemed to say, “Oh, you poor pathetic creature, how hard it must be to be old and alone.” I know I’m projecting because she was sweet as could be, but I’d gained 15 pounds and looked like hell.

Old Wounds

Linda put my medications on the counter and directed me to insert my card into the payment machine. The first screen came up. “Press the X in the right hand corner,” she told me, before I had even read what was on the screen. As soon as the next screen came up she blurted, “Check the box if you want a consultation.” When the 3rd screen came up, without even waiting a second, she instructed: “Sign on the bottom line and hit Next.”

This went on for several months. I know she meant well, but she prompted me on every screen before I could even read what it said. I started to feel nervous at the counter and afraid I couldn’t answer the questions on my own. Was I just a feeble old lady who couldn’t even handle an ATM machine? I’d finally had enough and had to speak up. “There’s some ageism going on here. You keep feeding me directions without giving me 3 seconds to read them myself. It makes me feel so demeaned.  Please have some respect!”

I grabbed my medications, stormed out of the store, and transferred to another pharmacy.  What I really wanted to say was: “I used to be pretty! I have a PhD and I can take care of myself. Don’t you dare treat me like an old lady!” Standing on the sidewalk outside the store I began to sob. Maybe that’s who I am to the rest of the world now. The thought horrified me and I worried if I’d ever feel whole again.

Moving Forward

Some time has passed and I’m feeling better about myself. I’ve lost 20 pounds and wear make-up and matching clothes when I go to the pharmacy. Although I’m aging like the rest of my generation, my mind is sharp and my confidence is coming back.

Instead of turning heads, I counsel people who are struggling with relationships. When I’m not working, I go to the gym, I discuss world affairs, I take classes, I get massages and I have lunch with my friends. So yes, I’ll go into Rite Aid and apologize for being rude, but my prescriptions will be  filled elsewhere.

Aging isn’t easy and neither is loss. I was married to a man who knew me completely. In his eyes I was more than just pretty, I was a deep, sensitive soul. When I reflect on the values that constitute real beauty, of course I know it’s more than just physical appearance.  Nonetheless, I sometimes I need that reminder to face the future with courage and hope.

Sydell Weiner, PhD

181 Comments

  5. Geri Zuniga
    Geri Zuniga on August 3, 2021 at 9:01 pm

    I’ll right away grab your rss as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly let me realize so that I could subscribe.
    Thanks.

  6. Vincent Tucker
    Vincent Tucker on August 4, 2021 at 5:59 am

    generic cialis tadalafil cialis commercial cialis pills cost

  8. Laura Mobley
    Laura Mobley on August 4, 2021 at 7:32 am

    I’ll right away grab your rss feed as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I could subscribe.
    Thanks.

  9. Barry Perry
    Barry Perry on August 4, 2021 at 8:19 am

    viagra rx snorting viagra viagra gel

  11. Natasha Li
    Natasha Li on August 4, 2021 at 9:58 am

    I simply couldn’t leave your website before suggesting that I really loved the standard information a
    person provide to your guests? Is going to be back regularly in order to investigate cross-check
    new posts

  13. Leon Hodges
    Leon Hodges on August 4, 2021 at 11:31 am

    Ahaa, its nice discussion concerning this article here at
    this weblog, I have read all that, so at this time me also
    commenting at this place.

  14. Dennis Qualls
    Dennis Qualls on August 4, 2021 at 12:18 pm

    cefdinir dosing strep children cefdinir foods to avoid omnicef manufacturer

  15. Erica Shelly
    Erica Shelly on August 4, 2021 at 1:05 pm

    Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue regarding this article here at
    this web site, I have read all that, so now me
    also commenting at this place.

  16. James Mclean
    James Mclean on August 4, 2021 at 1:53 pm

    Greetings! Very useful advice within this post!
    It is the little changes that make the largest changes. Thanks for sharing!

  17. Tammie Campbell
    Tammie Campbell on August 4, 2021 at 9:20 pm

    buy cialis tadalafil uk paypal tadalafil cost walmart

  18. Mary Danford
    Mary Danford on August 4, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    Ahaa, its nice discussion concerning this article here at this web site,
    I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  19. Miguel Campos
    Miguel Campos on August 4, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    tadalafil generic cost generic tadalafil price purchase peptides tadalafil

  20. Jason Washburn
    Jason Washburn on August 4, 2021 at 11:39 pm

    Hello there! This article could not be written any better!
    Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He continually kept talking about this. I’ll forward this information to him.
    Pretty sure he’s going to have a great read. Thank you for sharing!

  21. Joshua Howard
    Joshua Howard on August 5, 2021 at 12:25 am

    otc viagra walmart sildenafil 100mg lady viagra

  22. Bethany Hazeldine
    Bethany Hazeldine on August 5, 2021 at 1:13 am

    It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or advice.
    Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.
    I want to read even more things about it!

  24. Estella Nuckols
    Estella Nuckols on August 5, 2021 at 2:46 am

    I’ve learned some new things through the blog post. Yet another thing to I have recognized is that generally, FSBO sellers will probably reject a person. Remember, they’d prefer never to use your providers. But if you maintain a gentle, professional romance, offering help and remaining in contact for four to five weeks, you will usually be able to win interviews. From there, a house listing follows. Thank you

  25. Wilfredo Williams
    Wilfredo Williams on August 5, 2021 at 7:33 am

    cialis pills india cialis price mexico tadalafil 5mg

  26. Donna Hale
    Donna Hale on August 5, 2021 at 8:19 am

    It’s appropriate time to make a few plans for
    the long run and it’s time to be happy.
    I’ve learn this submit and if I may I desire to counsel you few fascinating things or tips.
    Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article.

    I want to learn more things about it!

  30. Ydrnxb
    Ydrnxb on August 9, 2021 at 12:19 am

    parx casino online – online slots online casino with free signup bonus real money usa

  34. Irene Wilson
    Irene Wilson on August 12, 2021 at 1:15 am

    Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just
    wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks?
    If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated.

  35. Virginia Cox
    Virginia Cox on August 12, 2021 at 1:59 am

    sildenafil 100mg prescription viagra com 20mg sildenafil

  36. Christine Martin
    Christine Martin on August 12, 2021 at 2:43 am

    I have been browsing on-line greater than three hours as of late,
    yet I never discovered any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and
    bloggers made good content material as you probably did,
    the internet will be much more helpful than ever before.

  37. Debra Perez
    Debra Perez on August 12, 2021 at 3:36 am

    mobic side effects drowsiness meloxicam for cats dosage meloxicam 15mg tablets use

  38. Dale Helms
    Dale Helms on August 12, 2021 at 4:20 am

    I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet
    I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot
    more useful than ever before.

  39. Wallace Johnson
    Wallace Johnson on August 12, 2021 at 5:04 am

    flagyl drinking alcohol flagyl dosing kids metronidazole gel 75

  40. Duane Sinclair
    Duane Sinclair on August 12, 2021 at 5:48 am

    This is a topic which is near to my heart… Best wishes!

    Where are your contact details though?

  42. Mary Schwarz
    Mary Schwarz on August 12, 2021 at 7:17 am

    It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s
    time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could
    I wish to suggest you some interesting things or advice.
    Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to read even more things about it!

  65. Jordan Anderson
    Jordan Anderson on August 21, 2021 at 3:05 am

    real cialis 20mg cialis com coupons tadalafil citrate

  66. Wesley Pautsch
    Wesley Pautsch on August 21, 2021 at 6:40 am

    Howdy just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words
    in your article seem to be running off the screen in Ie.
    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or
    something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to
    let you know. The layout look great though!
    Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Kudos

  67. Allen Bechtel
    Allen Bechtel on August 21, 2021 at 7:39 am

    nolvadex mg nolvadex after sarm tamoxifen and vertigo

  68. Dawn Acosta
    Dawn Acosta on August 21, 2021 at 8:27 am

    It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be
    happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you few interesting things or tips.

    Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.
    I desire to read more things about it!

  69. Katherine Fisher
    Katherine Fisher on August 21, 2021 at 9:16 am

    xenical price walmart xenical generic brand orlistat 60 mg capsules

  70. Robert Sheppard
    Robert Sheppard on August 21, 2021 at 10:05 am

    I’ve been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found
    any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me.
    In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you
    did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

  71. Stephanie Stout
    Stephanie Stout on August 21, 2021 at 10:52 am

    sildenafil cost india warnings for viagra prescription free viagra

  72. April Leising
    April Leising on August 21, 2021 at 11:41 am

    I have been surfing online greater than three hours nowadays, yet I by no means found any attention-grabbing article like
    yours. It’s lovely value enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and
    bloggers made just right content as you probably did, the web might be much more helpful than ever before.

  73. Carrie Weber
    Carrie Weber on August 21, 2021 at 12:30 pm

    cialis daily prescription cialis tadalafil best tadalafil tablets

  74. Joyce Lanier
    Joyce Lanier on August 21, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    It’s very trouble-free to find out any matter on net as
    compared to textbooks, as I found this paragraph
    at this web page.

  75. Dwayne Harr
    Dwayne Harr on August 21, 2021 at 2:56 pm

    nolvadex indication nolvadex sale nolvadex 40mg

  76. Allen Attwood
    Allen Attwood on August 21, 2021 at 3:44 pm

    I’ve been surfing online greater than three hours today,
    yet I never discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours.
    It is lovely value enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you probably did, the net will be much more useful than ever
    before.

  77. Barbra Lawrence
    Barbra Lawrence on August 21, 2021 at 4:31 pm

    womens viagra pill cheap viagra canada sildenafil cost

  78. Stephen Severson
    Stephen Severson on August 21, 2021 at 5:19 pm

    I like what you guys are usually up too. Such clever work and reporting!

    Keep up the superb works guys I’ve added you guys to my personal blogroll.

  80. Mavis Cox
    Mavis Cox on August 21, 2021 at 6:54 pm

    It is the best time to make some plans for the future
    and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this post
    and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting
    things or advice. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to read more things about it!

  81. Doris Day
    Doris Day on August 21, 2021 at 7:41 pm

    azithromycin without prescription zithromax tablets azithromycin 250 mg tablets

  82. Raymond Harper
    Raymond Harper on August 21, 2021 at 8:29 pm

    I have been browsing on-line more than three hours nowadays, yet I never discovered
    any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is pretty worth sufficient for me.
    In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made excellent content material as you probably
    did, the net might be much more useful than ever before.

  92. Ezdmjw
    Ezdmjw on August 25, 2021 at 4:24 am

    purchase doxycycline online – 200 mg doxycycline buy doxycycline no prescription

  95. Rlumir
    Rlumir on August 28, 2021 at 5:31 am

    best viagra tablets in india – sildenafil 30 mg

  98. Propecia
    Propecia on August 28, 2021 at 9:41 pm

    Generic Cialis For Sale

  100. Bamudw
    Bamudw on August 29, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    cialis pills for sale – cialis price uk cialis compare discount price

  101. Cialis
    Cialis on August 29, 2021 at 3:30 pm

    Acheter Kamagra Voir Le Profil

  102. Propecia
    Propecia on August 29, 2021 at 6:49 pm

    Atenolol

  106. Stuart Forney
    Stuart Forney on August 31, 2021 at 9:19 am

    cephalexin label drug augmentin augmentin 1gm

  107. Julia Mendez
    Julia Mendez on August 31, 2021 at 10:05 am

    Hi would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re working with?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot
    faster then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider
    at a honest price? Thanks, I appreciate it!

  108. Curtis Higgins
    Curtis Higgins on August 31, 2021 at 10:49 am

    amlodipine indication cordarone generic lasix medication

  109. Dalton Ikeda
    Dalton Ikeda on August 31, 2021 at 11:35 am

    I haven’t checked in here for some time because I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  110. Roxanne Sorrentino
    Roxanne Sorrentino on August 31, 2021 at 12:20 pm

    fasigyn norfloxacin cipro dosage

  111. Boris Payne
    Boris Payne on August 31, 2021 at 1:05 pm

    Ahaa, its good discussion regarding this piece of writing here at this weblog,
    I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

  112. Wayne Lytton
    Wayne Lytton on August 31, 2021 at 1:51 pm

    cipro antibiotic erythromycin doses azithromycin treats

  113. Sarita Whitelaw
    Sarita Whitelaw on August 31, 2021 at 2:36 pm

    Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue concerning this paragraph here at this blog, I have
    read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place.

  114. Alyce Ng
    Alyce Ng on August 31, 2021 at 3:21 pm

    augmentin chlamydia survival keflex idfendity cephalexin

  115. Viagra
    Viagra on August 31, 2021 at 3:55 pm

    Amoxicillin Zpak

  116. Sarah Perkins
    Sarah Perkins on August 31, 2021 at 4:06 pm

    It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is
    time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could
    I desire to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions.

    Perhaps you could write next articles referring
    to this article. I wish to read even more things about it!

  118. Ruth Havery
    Ruth Havery on August 31, 2021 at 5:37 pm

    I am sure this article has touched all the internet people,
    its really really good piece of writing on building up
    new webpage.

  119. Tyywem
    Tyywem on September 1, 2021 at 5:52 am

    ivermectin australia – ivermecrx buy ivermectin for humans

  120. Rosie Reidy
    Rosie Reidy on September 1, 2021 at 6:21 am

    I’ve been surfing on-line more than three hours as of late, but I never found any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all
    webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet might be much more helpful than ever
    before.

  124. wheeple
    wheeple on September 4, 2021 at 11:26 pm

    Viagra

  133. Qmlkvj
    Qmlkvj on September 8, 2021 at 9:12 pm

    price of sildenafil citrate – Generic viagra cheap where can you get viagra over the counter

  134. Adam Moreo
    Adam Moreo on September 9, 2021 at 11:46 am

    keflex arava imitrex

  135. Clyde Cramer
    Clyde Cramer on September 9, 2021 at 1:16 pm

    There is certainly a great deal to learn about this issue.
    I really like all the points you made.

  136. Wohopsy
    Wohopsy on September 9, 2021 at 5:15 pm

    cialis buy

  140. Stromectol
    Stromectol on September 10, 2021 at 11:15 pm

    Purchase Prevacid

  142. Wohopsy
    Wohopsy on September 11, 2021 at 7:40 pm

    Cialis

  147. Stromectol
    Stromectol on September 12, 2021 at 2:07 pm

    Zithromax Affect Birth Control Pills

  148. Hipsymn
    Hipsymn on September 12, 2021 at 3:18 pm

    Stromectol

  151. Ygonws
    Ygonws on September 14, 2021 at 9:08 pm

    furosemide 20 mg uk – lasix 100mg prescription medication without a prescription lasix

  160. Lisa Mcinroy
    Lisa Mcinroy on September 15, 2021 at 5:45 pm

    mysoline neurontin sustiva

  161. Gloria Townes
    Gloria Townes on September 15, 2021 at 8:28 pm

    I’ve been browsing online more than three hours these days, but I by no means found any interesting article like yours.
    It is beautiful worth sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content
    as you did, the net will likely be much more helpful than ever before.

  162. John Walewski
    John Walewski on September 15, 2021 at 11:10 pm

    rogaine theolair zyrtec

  164. Zithromax
    Zithromax on September 15, 2021 at 11:24 pm

    Sky Pharmacy Online

  166. Ryan House
    Ryan House on September 16, 2021 at 2:46 am

    It is perfect time to make a few plans for the longer term and
    it’s time to be happy. I have read this publish and if I may just I desire to counsel
    you few fascinating issues or tips. Perhaps you can write next articles
    regarding this article. I desire to learn more things approximately it!

  167. Elliot Conner
    Elliot Conner on September 16, 2021 at 6:28 am

    benemid seroquel sustiva

  171. Richard Johnson
    Richard Johnson on September 16, 2021 at 6:28 pm

    exelon aldactone glyburide

  172. Arthur Yielding
    Arthur Yielding on September 16, 2021 at 9:28 pm

    It is the best time to make a few plans for the
    future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve
    learn this post and if I could I want to suggest you few fascinating issues or tips.

    Perhaps you could write next articles relating to this article.
    I desire to learn even more things approximately it!

  173. Etta Marable
    Etta Marable on September 17, 2021 at 12:10 am

    hytrin catapres uroxatral

  174. Utvle
    Utvle on September 17, 2021 at 12:49 am

    My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

  175. Jacqueline To
    Jacqueline To on September 17, 2021 at 2:52 am

    I have been browsing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found
    any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me.
    In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

  176. Naomi Krupsky
    Naomi Krupsky on September 17, 2021 at 5:42 am

    zanaflex eldepryl aygestin

  179. Alice Fahrner
    Alice Fahrner on September 17, 2021 at 8:23 am

    Ahaa, its pleasant discussion on the topic of this piece of
    writing here at this blog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. viagra pills - viagra pills WALCOME
  2. viagra online cheap - viagra online cheap WALCOME
  3. viagra generic online - viagra generic online WALCOME
  4. sildenafil 50mg - sildenafil 50mg WALCOME
  5. viagra without a doctor prescription - viagra without a doctor prescription WALCOME
  6. tadalafil cialis 5mg - tadalafil cialis 5mg WALCOME
  7. cialis generic - cialis generic WALCOME
  8. purchase cialis - purchase cialis WALCOME
  9. discount generic cialis - discount generic cialis WALCOME
  10. discount code for cialis - […] can cialis pills be cut […]
  11. purchase viagra online - purchase viagra online WALCOME
  12. buy viagra where - […] order cialis for daily use […]
  13. sildenafil coupon - sildenafil coupon WALCOME
  14. cialis mg - […] where can i get cialis […]
  15. buy viagra online - buy viagra online WALCOME
  16. how to buy cialis from canada - […] viagra buy boots […]
  17. cialis free samples - cialis free samples WALCOME
  18. sildenafil 12.5 mg - sildenafil 12.5 mg WALCOME
  19. female viagra pills - female viagra pills WALCOME
  20. tadalafil generic usa - tadalafil generic usa WALCOME
  21. cialis tadalafil tablets - cialis tadalafil tablets WALCOME
  22. cheap viagra online canadian pharmacy - cheap viagra online canadian pharmacy WALCOME
  23. viagra 50mg online india - viagra 50mg online india WALCOME
  24. tadalafil for women - tadalafil for women WALCOME
  25. generic viagra online canada - generic viagra online canada WALCOME
  26. drugs like cialis - drugs like cialis WALCOME
  27. buy female viagra singapore - buy female viagra singapore WALCOME
  28. is generic sildenafil as effective as viagra - is generic sildenafil as effective as viagra WALCOME
  29. natural alterernative to viagra - natural alterernative to viagra WALCOME
  30. free viagra coupon 2016 - free viagra coupon 2016 WALCOME
  31. liquid cialis - liquid cialis WALCOME
  32. online order for cialis - […] cialis buy paypal […]
  33. tadalafil femme - tadalafil femme WALCOME
  34. where can i buy cialis or viagra on line - […] cheapest viagra sale uk […]
  35. buy viagra with prescription - buy viagra with prescription WALCOME
  36. farmacia aperta - farmacia aperta WALCOME
  37. sildenafil 100mg - sildenafil 100mg WALCOME
  38. otc ed meds - […] cheapest ed meds […]
  39. buy generic viagra - buy generic viagra WALCOME
  40. buy viagra hujagra 2011 - […] order viagra no prescription […]
  41. cheap cialis for sale - […] cialis sale us […]
  42. order viagra - order viagra WALCOME
  43. himalayan viagra for sale - […] buy viagra jelly online uk […]
  44. whats viagra - whats viagra WALCOME
  45. viagra without a doctor prescription 150 mg - viagra without a doctor prescription 150 mg WALCOME
  46. viagra with a doctor prescription - viagra with a doctor prescription WALCOME
  47. pfizer viagra - pfizer viagra WALCOME
  48. citrato de sildenafila - citrato de sildenafila WALCOME
  49. viagra tablets australia - viagra tablets australia WALCOME
  50. viagra pour homme - viagra pour homme WALCOME
  51. all usa online casinos - […] online casino gambling australia […]
  52. viagra connect walgreens - viagra connect walgreens WALCOME
  53. cost for viagra - cost for viagra WALCOME
  54. canadian pharmacy tadalafil - canadian pharmacy tadalafil canadian pharmacy tadalafil
  55. viagra use - viagra use WALCOME
  56. cialis forms - cialis forms cialis forms
  57. viagra meaning - viagra meaning WALCOME
  58. acheter viagra - acheter viagra acheter viagra
  59. viagra women - viagra women WALCOME
  60. cheap viagra - cheap viagra WALCOME
  61. low price viagra - low price viagra WALCOME
  62. free sex video games - funny games biz sex https://cybersexgames.net/
  63. sildenafil 25 mg mexico - […] sildenafil oral jelly 100mg kamagra […]
  64. cialis black - […] cialis from india […]
  65. unibet online casino pa - online casino usa real money no deposit bonus https://casinoonlinek.com/
  66. real casino slots online - maryland online casino https://onlinecasinoad.com/
  67. otc viagra - otc viagra WALCOME
  68. buy ivermectin 12 mg for humans - ivermectin 6 mg otc order ivermectin 12 mg
  69. free online casino bonus codes - ocean casino online https://casinogamesmachines.com/
  70. lincoln online casino - sweden online casino https://conline-casinos-hub.com/
  71. ti casino online - bogata online casino https://onlinecasinos4me.com/
  72. caesar casino online nj - borgata online casino new jersey https://online2casino.com/
  73. online casino free bet - online casino reviews #1 site for best online casinos https://casinoonlinet.com/
  74. viagra or cialis - viagra or cialis WALCOME
  75. keto friendly fast food - macros for keto https://ketogenicdiets.net/
  76. keto shepherd's pie - keto cheat sheet https://ketogendiet.net/
  77. keto pills side effects - keto test strips https://ketogenicdietinfo.com/
  78. is honey keto - keto protein https://ketogendiets.com/
  79. legit essay writing services - writing personal essays https://anenglishessay.com/
  80. over the counter viagra - over the counter viagra WALCOME
  81. writing essay for college - essays to write about https://topessayswriter.com/
  82. essay writing companies - english essay writing https://yoursuperessay.com/
  83. ivermectin 6 mg for sale - buy ivermectin 12mg otc stromectol 12mg pills
  84. cialis 10mg online canadian pharmacy - […] cialis 5 mg tablet online cheap […]
  85. writing a comparison essay - write an argumentative essay https://howtowriteessaytips.com/
  86. pay someone to write my essay - write my essay 4 me https://checkyouressay.com/
  87. gay davis ca dating - gta 5 gay dating https://gayprideusa.com/
  88. quora gay dating - gay singles dating site https://gayfade.com/
  89. i'm dating a white boy gay - gay dating username generator https://gaysugardaddydatingsites.com/
  90. viagra 50 mg price walgreens - […] viagra 50 mg pill […]
  91. critical thinking in everyday life - critical thinking tips https://criticalthinkingbasics.com/
  92. critical thinking activities - perseverance and critical thinking https://criticalthinkinginstitute.com/
  93. critical thinking means - ted talk critical thinking types of thinking https://criticalthinking2020.net/
  94. individual critical thinking assignment (icta) - critical thinking skills test https://uncriticalthinking.com/
  95. essay about yourself - comparison and contrast essay examples https://choosevpn.net/
  96. words to use in an essay - informative essay introduction https://topvpndeals.net/
  97. how to write a conclusion for an argumentative essay - tuskegee syphilis experiment essay https://tjvpn.net/
  98. transfer essay examples - rhetorical analysis essay example https://thebestvpnpro.com/
  99. types of essay - poetry analysis essay example https://vpn4home.com/
  100. spongebob writing essay - how to start a compare and contrast essay https://vpnsrank.com/
  101. should college be free essay - what is a synthesis essay https://vpn4torrents.com/
  102. college essay header - 911 essay https://windowsvpns.com/
  103. 1brownish - 2inflammatory
  104. purchasing cialis - purchasing cialis purchasing cialis
  105. palm springs ca mature gay bisexual dating - is plenty of fish a gay dating site? https://gaypridee.com
  106. list of gay dating sites - dating with herpes gay man https://gay-buddies.com
  107. which gay dating app has most members - smooth chubby chub gay transsexual dating https://gayprideusa.com
  108. gay fat dating - gay dating in chicago https://speedgaydate.com
  109. gay christian dating app - palm springs ca mature gay bisexual dating https://gayfade.com
  110. azithromycin liquid - azithromycin liquid azithromycin liquid
  111. sildenafil 500 mg - sildenafil 500 mg sildenafil 500 mg
  112. online casinos that accept us credit cards - […] usa players casino online […]
  113. male enhancement pills with sildenafil - […] white viagra pills […]
  114. sildenafil citrate tablets 50mg - […] sildenafil 25 mg […]
  115. gay advise chat - gay chat room atlanta https://bjsgaychatroom.info/
  116. young gay dating porn full movie video - gay dating in jackson tn https://gaypridee.com/
  117. chat aveneu gay - gay tranny webcam chat https://gaytgpost.com/
  118. gay chat rooms columbia sc - utah gay bi chat https://gay-buddies.com/
  119. no prescription cialis - […] cialis for sale online […]
  120. growls gay dating - gay conservative dating ap https://speedgaydate.com/
  121. cialis c5 - cialis c5 cialis c5
  122. cheapest cialis in australia - […] where to buy viagra uk […]

Submit a Comment